plz talk dirty to me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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