I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
