I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love having hate sex.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
