Already got asked if we're dating
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
