She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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