so explain again why im purple
no
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
