i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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