This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
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Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
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oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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