: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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