Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
