none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
