He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
