You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
