So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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