At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just threw up on my dentist
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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