Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
