It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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