It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
