Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
