brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
