I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize