Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
this hospital has no fireball
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
