If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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