that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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