Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize