It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
