does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
