I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i will never coherently bang her
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
