So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
