I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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