Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
