You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize