THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
