This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
