FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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