she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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