it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
