he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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