Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
