Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
