i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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