Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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