Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
