omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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