i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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