Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize