if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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