Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
