I didn't shave. On purpose
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
