apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
NoShamevember. You game?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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