I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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