We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
