You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
