be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
