I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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