Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I need to stop coming to work sober
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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