Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Enjoy the penises
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize