Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
