i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize