Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize